�Nrimo Value� in Javanese Culture and Its Possibility Towards Conflict

You may say I am such an ethnocentric. But I�ve been growing in Javanese family for 18 years. Then sometimes, I am sick of some Javanese absurd values like building your parent�s grave, feudalism in work place, obeying irrational elder�s wish when you are mature, independent, even though it opposites to your thought and heart and last, I call it �Nrimo� value. I describe Javanese Value as value that has been believed by common people in Java, especially in Central Java and Yogyakarta. �Nrimo� in Javanese was defined as resignation, submission, its like when we are in the oppressed position then we have no willing to change and struggle, though actually we are dying to change but we have no bravery to change it because of our afraid of rejection, scoldings, and other conflict potentials. We don�t want to change and struggle because we don�t want to be taken out from comfort zone. For you who stay in comfort zone for sometimes, it kills, trust me.


Many Javanese people out there don�t want to speak what their mind�s say because of avoiding conflict. But, I ll say, �Nrimo� value is the seed of conflict. We don�t want to come straight but we do scold after, and hide away our thought, over and over for long time, then someday it will burn, it will explode, it creates conflict. Finally we never get what we really want, we stay in comfort zone, you never grow up, we stay in a stupid circumstance like a controlled robot. That�s f*cking idiot. I used to be like that, but when I was behaving like that, I felt like I never grow up, I never get what I really want then I had conflict with some people, depressed. But after I�ve been working with many people from different cultures and countries and it changed me.


 For me its always trully fine to speak our mind, follow our heart, in case we have conflict after that, its okay, conflict isn�t something that has to be avoided, but something that has to be managed. Conflict is constructive when it results in clarification, serves as a release to pent-up emotions and stress; when parties understand each others needs, and use the conflict to build cooperation and trust. But if we had a hidden thought, deep, over and over, it would make us feel uncomfortable, divide relationship and it would be destructive conflict. Conflict is destructive when it diverts energy, polarizes groups and deepens differences; parties take �either - or� positions, believing their way is right and develop negative feelings toward each other. So, lets KISS, keep it simple stupid, speak your mind otherwise your brain will evaporated. I talk to my self actually.